A dragon with one thousand heads.
A destructive, blinding creature that forces us to believe that we are what we are, only in comparison with others.
Have you ever disliked someone succeeding?
Do you compare yourself to others?
Do you like talking about people’s imperfections?
Have you ever looked down on someone for not trying as hard as you?
That’s your ego at play.
That little voice inside you that is the source of so much worry, anxiety, and suffering.
If you think back to when someone was rude to you and you feel offended - or you feel superior to them as a result - it’s your ego talking. If you worry about an event coming up, it’s your ego talking. If you receive some feedback you don’t like, regardless of whether it was just or unjust, it’s your ego talking. Every single time you take something personally, it’s your ego talking.
While this voice will always be there, it is possible to quiet it so that it doesn't have as much of an impact on your life.
Your ego’s job is to feel important. Its survival depends on it. Unfortunately, this translates to your ego needing to fight and defend itself. It seems counterintuitive, but the ego needs negative situations to arise so it can have something to do, something to worry about, or something to change. So if you're happy, and everything is perfect, your ego will already be looking for an issue to cling to or a drama to create.
“We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.”
― Carlos Castaneda
Creating an awareness of your ego plays a large part in improving your relationships with others, as well as your ability to manage others and yourself. I have found that becoming more aware of my ego has liberated me.
This whole practice of dissolving ego is like one big detox. You know the headaches, cravings, and bad mood that can follow a night of indulging? That's your liver detoxing. The anger and self-righteousness you begin to feel after starting this process is the same thing. And just like a hangover, all you can do is wait it out and make the best choices you can stomach.
When the anger strikes, grab a piece of paper and begin writing down all the things for which you are grateful. Start small and keep writing. Is the sun coming through the window? Or maybe it's raining and you love the rain. Just write it down. This is your one small step back toward your path.
Working on yourself in this way can be exhausting, so don't feel like you've failed if you have a fearful or anxious thought. Striving for perfection is a trait of the ego too.
So remember that each breath, each moment, each movement you make is your destination. Even as you begin, know you have already arrived.
I’m rooting for you!
Love,
Louise